At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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