Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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