i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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