just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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