Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I think my moral compass just broke
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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