it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
