I must be too annoying 4 u.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
