The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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