go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
