We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I think my nap took me to another dimension
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
