Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
