nut hugger
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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