watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
ok first of all what the fuck
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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