your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
