don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
