i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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