in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
