hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
