how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
