I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
