So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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