It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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