double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
