Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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