Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
The adults are the big ones right?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
