just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
