What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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