awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
