u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
We are all done wearing pants today
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
