if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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