Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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