yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
