He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Randomize
