so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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