Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
