she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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