there's paper in my vomit.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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