I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
she smelled like a LAN party
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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