Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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