I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
