i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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