super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Randomize
