it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
