sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
