Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
