If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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