I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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