Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
