Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
