She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
